Why Solo Traveling Makes Me Feel even Grateful with My Parents

My train arrived late at the Cirebon Station, it was 01:30 a.m late night and i was  alone ~as usual~

I’ve visited Cirebon 3 years ago for work purpose and I had to recall the navigation to reach my hotel  because everything looks different with Night Vision Mode. I stepped downstairs towards the Exit route and this thought came up..


I remember, it was 5 years ago, my grandmother’s sister had passed away. I was at the office, my parents couldn’t go to my hometown in Wonosobo, Central Java, so I decided to go.

I purchased the bus ticket and didn’t bring anything with me (even  underwear!).I experienced my first travel to my own hometown within 12 hours.

Was it my first time traveling alone intracity? Well, yes. I told my parents I left after I purchased bus ticket. But maybe,  I’ve ever sneakpeaked to go somewhere not-so-far away when I was a college student.

This traveling experience lead to many others afterwards, right ?

But it was not as simple as that. My Mom received few complaints from my aunties because she let me traveled alone to Wonosobo. My Mom said to me, “don’t be too brave. Your aunties warned you.”



My Dad sid no to me many times, especially when I wanted to hike mountain or join with the adventure community. I knew why, but I kept trying and act like a stubborn bitch. All I wanted was a “YES” from my Dad, without any effort to change anything or to vanish his concern about me.

But I found out someting crucial in 2013,  I found out  why my Dad didn’t let me go but now  he let me that easy. At least, I know how to fullfil my trust to my Dad.

  1. Torturing my ambition over my needs

I was a college student with tons of activities. I mean I grabbed all of activities outside study – both organization and even committee – and put my responsibility as a student behind.  How can my parents trust me with what I did before?


  1. Proof the – wrong but right- thing they did for me

They were right – really. Who wants to give their kids permission and flexible “YES” if their kids never prouved anything to them? I was not really smart in campus with so – so grades. Letting me travel somewhere only made my parents walked on  the eggshells, soon or late it will break.

Within few years I proved them, obey the curfew, “NO” means “NO” and “YES BUT..” means I need to strengthen the reason and give a strong reason why every journey I visit will be safe and organized , also “YES” means “PLEASE KEEP ME UPDATED YOU’RE STILL MY CHILD” LOL!


  1. Financially independent

I can’t travel to every destinations or countries but kept begging money from my parent. I worked, I earned money, I could save money and go. I needed to highlight this concern too.


  1. Well organized – don’t force yourself to do things that you aren’t capable to do… yet

After I sent my itinerary in my Dad’s mail for my Solo Eurotrip, I stayed in Netherlands, I put Croatia as my destination. But I saw from the Embassy that Croatia wasn’t a part of Schengen Visa,i had to have a Visa on Arrival. My Dad said no, just explore countries which are part of the Schengen zone. Period. I forced it, I ensure everything would be alright, I read blog and they said we could go to Croatia with my Schengen visa using VOA. He was really mad and said “DON’T”

I agreed with him and I realized why. I was still an amateur during my Euro Trip and again I was alone, no travel insurance at all. Who can I contact with if something happened to me?

I can go to Croatia this year, obey to my own rules above and below this number.


  1. Hide force majeure that occured  during you trip, and tell them when you are finally home

Some of readers will have contradiction with what I do, but others may agree with me. Can you imagine if you are more than 11.000 kms away from home and something happened in scale 2 out of 10, but when you tell your parents, they’ll translate it into scale 8 of 10. They are still our parents, they have right to feel over-worried with us. When you experienced bad things during travel,  you need to filter which one you need to tell directly or just hold and tell them the story when you’re home.

I arrived 5 minutes late at the Budapest terminal, it was supposed to bring me to Wina terminal. But i couldn’t make it, so i decided to use BlaBlacar instead.

My Blablacar driver didn’t show up and I waited him for 4 hours in Amsterdam Zuid only because he didn’t understand English. I should arrive in Paris a day after with my booking ticket in hands.

I arrived to Hakone Station during midnight because we miscalculated with my sis and we fought a lot with our carrier bag on our back and inclining street to  get our hostel.


Do you know the worst part ?

I lost my Eurail Ticket, it costs 450 EUR, no insurance, no refundable. I told my Dad half year after. LEL


  1. ….. then you know what is the last thing you need to do. Don’t be spoiled

This is still related to my previous point. You need to be responsible with everything that might be happened and not part of your itinerary. Late train, late airplane, victim of pickpocket.


  1. Thankful

I feel blessed and grateful to have them as my parents. I could sense their worries but they never covered it up. Replace with smooth question or advise because I know I don’t like being asked often like that. But everything has changed, I only have my Dad now and I need to keep him updated everyday. He only asked once per day, not much, it is not difficult request from you parents. But sometime you forget and make it as your least priority. Yes?



I’ve been traveling to more than 20 countries and several cities in Indonesia. Most of them are solo travel. But I realized the big responsibility is not when I travel alone, but when I bring my sister with me. How can I ensure to my parents she- when with me –  will be safe and sound and  keep her safe ? I never left her even when we fought a lot.

So, if you think it is hard to get your parent’s permission to travel together with your friend.. or even alone, kindly see my post here. Hope it helps.

It is not always right tho, but indeed  you need to change something in front of you parents, when you have WILL, but they say NAH!






Anila Tavisha,

16 Jan 2017, 09:31 UTC+1


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