My train arrived late in Cirebon Station, it was 01:30 a.m late night and alone ~as usual~
I’ve visited Cirebon 3 years ago for work purpose and I need to recall the navigation to reach my hotel because everything looks different with Night Vision Mode. I stepped downstairs towards Exit route and this thought came up..
I remember, it was 5 years ago, my sister of my grandmother had passed away. I was at the office, my parents couldn’t go to my hometown in Wonosobo, Central Java, then I decided to go.
Purchased the bus ticket with no stuff I bring (even for underwear!) then I’ve experienced my first travel to my own hometown within 12 hours.
Was it my first time to travel alone intracity? Well, yes. I told my parents I left after I purchased bus ticket. But maybe, I’ve ever sneakpeak to go somewhere in not-so-far distance when I was student college.
It was a small step to go to the big step for experience other destinations, right?
But it was not simple as that. My Mom received few complaints for my aunties because she let me traveled alone to Wonosobo. My Mom said to me, “don’t be too brave. Your aunties warned you.”
It took several years to grow their trust
I’ve rejected by my Dad many times, especially when I wanted to hike mountain or join with adventure community. I knew why, but I kept trying and act like a stubborn bitch. All I want was “YES” word for my Dad, without many effort to change anything or to vanish his concern about me.
But I know something more crucial which I just found it in 2013. I found why my Dad didn’t let me but now he let me that easy. At least, I know how to fullfil my trust to my Dad.
- Torturing my ambition over my needs
I was student college with tons of activities. I mean I grabbed all of activities outside study – both organization and even committee – and put my responsibility as a student behind. How can I give trust with my parents with what I did before?
- Proof the – wrong but right- thing they did for me
They were right – really. Who wants to give their kids permission and flexible “YES” if their kids never proof anything for them? I was not really smart in campus with so – so grade. Letting me travel to somewhere only made my parents walked on the eggshells, soon or late it will break.
Within few years I prove them, obey the curfew, “NO” means “NO” and “YES BUT..” means I need to strengthen the reason and give strong reason that every journey I visit will be safe and organized , also “YES” means “PLEASE KEEP ME UPDATED YOU’RE STILL MY CHILD” LOL!
- Financially independent
I can’t travel to every destinations or countries but keep begging money from my parent. I work, I earn money, I can save money and go. I need to highlight this concern too.
- Organized well – don’t force things that you aren’t capable with… yet
After I sent my itinerary to my Dad’s mail to go Solo Eurotrip when I stayed in Netherlands, I put Croatia as my destination. But what I saw from Embassy that Croatia isn’t part of Schengen Visa, you need to have Visa on Arrival. My Dad said no, just explore countries which still part of Schengen. Period. I forced it, I ensure everything would be alright, I read blog and they said we could go to Croatia with my Schengen visa using VOA. He was really mad and said “DON’T”
I agreed with him and I realized why. I still an amateur during Euro Trip and again I was alone, no travel insurance at all. Who can I contact with if something happen with me?
I can go to Croatia this year, obey my own rules above and below this number.
- Hide force majeure happened during you trip, told them when you are finally home
Some of readers will have contradiction with what I do, but others may be agreed with me. Can you imagine if you are more than 11.000 kms from home and something happened in scale 2 out of 10, but when you tell you parents, they’ll translate it into scale 8 of 10. They are still our parents, they have right to feel over-worried with us. When you experienced bad things during travel, you need to filter which one you need to tell directly or just hold and tell the story when you’re home.
I arrived late when bus from Budapest terminal that should bring me to Wina left only 5 minutes after I left.
My Blablacar driver didn’t show up when I waited him for 4 hours in Amsterdam Zuid only because he didn’t understand English, I should arrive in Paris day after with my booking ticket on my hands.
I arrived to Hakone Station on midnight because we miscalculation with my sis and we fought a lot with our carrier bag on our back and inclining street to get our hostel.
“Katanya angkot M16 lewat sini?”
Do you know the worst part happened to me?
I lost my Eurail Ticket, it costs 450 EUR, no insurance, no refundable. I told my Dad half year after.
- ….. then you know what is the last thing you need to do. Don’t be spoiled
This is still related to my previous point. You need to be responsible with everything that might be happened and not part of your itinerary. Late train, late airplane, victim of pickpocket.
I feel blessed and grateful to have them as my parents. I could sense their worries but they never covered it up. Replace with smooth question or advise because I know I don’t like being asked often like that. But everything is changed, I only have my Dad and I need to keep him updated everyday. He only asked once per day, not much, it is not difficult request from you parents. But sometime you forget and make it as your least priority. Yes?
Placing my feet around the world
I’ve been traveled to more than 20 countries and several cities in Indonesia. Most of them are solo travel. But I realized big responsibility not when I travel alone, but when I bring my sister travel with me. How can I ensure to my parents she- when with me – will be safe and sound and I keep her safety and I never left her even when we fought a lot.
So, if you think it is hard to get your parent’s permission to do traveling together with your friend.. or even alone, kindly see my post here. Hope it helps.
It is not always right tho, but indeed you need to change something in front of you parents, when you have WILL, but they say NAH!
16 Jan 2017, 09:31 UTC+1
(Freshly posted on my blog WordPress)